Laying it Down

Laying it Down, So I Can Carry my Cross

This past year has really been a year of a spiritual awakening for me.  I gave up, and handed over my life to The Lord almost 7 years ago, but I don’t think I really understood what it means to truly follow Christ until about 18 months ago.

Maybe my story is a lot like yours. I wouldn’t be all that surprised.  I grew up in the church as a child and youth.  I learned many of the Bible stories and even memorized some scripture. I knew how to play the game and look like what I thought was a “Christian.” I heard various preachers and youth pastors tell me about Jesus, but I don’t think I ever actually HEARD the Gospel.

Let me explain…

I would often hear one of two extremes. It was either “If you died tonight, do you know if you would go to heaven or would you burn in hell?” which will terrify any 13 year old adolescent into saying whatever prayer you ask him to say… OR I would hear a message that being a follower of Christ was a magical transformation and life from that moment on life would be easy. You know, Health, Wealth, Unicorns, and Rainbows type of stuff.

The truth of Luke 9 is clear. There is a cost to truly following Jesus.

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23 

Wait, I have to deny myself of the stuff I want, and carry a big wooden cross around with me everywhere I go?? 

Don’t you understand those things are big, heavy and that everyone will see me carrying it around and wonder why am I doing that?? 

They’ll probably ask me questions and I’ll have a lot of explaining to do…

Yep, and that’s the point!  You see, many ministries and churches are selling the Gospel. They tend to tell of the amazing love and forgiveness of John 3:16. They talk of the miracles Jesus performed and can perform in our lives, just like He did when he healed many (Matthew 9:35) or fed the 5000 with a young man’s lunch (Luke 9:10-16), and those are all true and amazing aspects of The Gospel.  However that’s not the entirety of The Gospel. Jesus never told anyone that it would be easy or that nothing is required.  In fact, as we read on in Luke 9, he tells those who profess to want to follow him that: 

“Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Luke 9:58 

Wait, Jesus was homeless, and if this dude was going to follow Him he would be homeless too? 

Still more, Jesus rebukes others who want to bury their dead father (Luke 9:60) and those who just want to say goodbye to their families (Luke 9:62) before truly following Him.  Is Jesus trying to be a loner? I don’t think so. To me, it seems as if He’s trying to bring home the point that following Jesus is not a life full of comfort in this world. It’s a life full of comfort in Him and Him alone.  

In this way, the Bible is telling me I can’t make Jesus fit into my life. My life has to become Jesus.

I can’t help but wonder if that is why so many people come to church and get “saved” but nothing really changes in their lives and you see them continuing to live like hell. I sure do feel like I fit that mold for a good portion of my life. 

Are we being “sold” this pretty-packaged Gospel instead of being told the Gospel in its entirety and the requirement it has for us to die? Yep Die, right then and there; and then every day thereafter we must wake up and die again.  We die so that we may live (John 12:25).

I see too many people keeping church seats warm and checking off their respective “do good for God” boxes. I know that sounds judgmental of me but I am truly concerned with making Disciples and I feel very alone. I find myself asking “Why aren’t others around me as concerned as I am?”

I don’t want to be the man I once was: keeping church seats warm and checking off some “do good for God” boxes.  The Holy Spirit has changed me; I want to be a new man who is truly concerned with making disciples. This is because I have been convinced by God’s Word that this is the best way to serve Him.  This is not the result of my own knowledge; this is the Holy Spirit working in my life and turning the lame Christian I once was into a fireball for Him.

Therefore I’m laying it down so I can carry my cross. For me, this means I’m not going to race in 2015. Yep I’ve been racing Ironman for years now and have finished several Ironman races. I love it. It’s something I find joy in doing, I’m passionate about, and keeps me healthy.  I’m even able to use this gift and talent as a platform for ministry. 

But I have to ask myself, “Is racing what God really wants me to do?”

I’ve been praying about just that and can’t come to a peace about racing next season. So I won’t… Maybe if I take the time and resources (energy and money) that I spend on Ironman training and direct it towards sharing an unfiltered Gospel with those who need to hear it,  I can make more of an impact?  We’ll see!

Now I realize some of you will read this and think “It’s not a big deal, this is what it means to be a Christ follower.” I hope you do feel that way and I hope that I can get there as well, because this is a big deal, and hard for me, the guy who was just keeping a chair warm.  However, following Christ and striving to look a bit more like Jesus every single day needs to be far more important to me.

I also realize that this short article is all about me (narcissist).  But hopefully, at the same time, it isn’t. Seriously! Maybe by sharing my story, it will allow me to ask you: “What are you holding on to? What are you carrying around that is holding you back, or preventing you from the purpose that God has placed in your heart?  Are you carrying your cross and dying every single day? Are you willing to drop whatever agenda you have and are you welcoming God to rock your world?”

He sure rocked mine.

Please know that I’m not trying to convince any of you to lay down the your hobby or passion.  I’m urging you to lay down EVERYTHING, and it certainly looks different from person to person. Triathlon can be an “all-about-me,” very individual sport that is wrought with pride, and it needs you athletes out there racing for His glory not our own.  Laying down racing is God’s word to me.  

But I do want to challenge you to search your heart for the things that need to be circumcised (cut off) in order to look more like Jesus. Maybe you’ll need to lay down something else...